written December 15
I am challenged during this heaviness to put on a garment of praise. To exalt the one who we celebrate during this season. I am challenged with some new thoughts and priorities. To put family first. To finally surrender my eating habits and my comforts to the Lord--to be purified from the inside out to come forth as gold. God has confirmed more than once that I need to change my diet--it came again today from the nurse at the Dr’s office-who said that she had PMDD and was told by her Dr. to journal about her eating, her moods, her stress level-and to get off of any kind of caffeine, coffee, chocolate, and to not do anything extra around at that "time of the month" to maintain stability in herself and her home. I had heard the same thing from a friend--that God showed her she needed to get off of tea, coffee, etc. --and sugar. Lord I know its time to surrender this to you. To offer these things up as a sacrifice of praise to you and a new commitment to living a life of obedience and holiness. To journal and write about my journey with PMDD.
At the same time God is challenging me to be more disciplined --to go to sleep early enough to wake up and have a quiet time with Him. To be in His Word --to start my day off right. With this will come less rushing and craziness with the kids in the morning. I am challenged with thoughts of home schooling the children. To get to the basic roots of living a life of simplicity --of calm, of life on life training. Even challenged with the thought of returning to the land that Jason loves and living, farming, schooling there--living the real life of simplicity and seeing what God does. Lord I give all these thoughts to you. I submit my whole self--body (physical--eating, exercise), mind (mental, my thoughts and desires), my soul (my emotions, my will), my heart (spiritually--to set my mind on what is eternal rather than what is temporal.)
I praise You Lord. I exalt you. You are Almighty God. King of Kings and Lord of Lords. All sufficient, all-seeing, all-knowing, all-powerful. An ever-present help in times of trouble. You are Faithful and True. You are Jehovah Jireh, my Provider. You are Jehovah Rapha, my Healer. You are the great I Am. The One who was, and is, and who is to come. You are Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. You are the Author and the Finisher of my faith. You are my deliverer, my redeemer, my counselor, my friend, my revelator. You are my love, my husband, my knight in shining armor. You love me with an everlasting love. You are my comfort, my protector, and you wrap your loving arms around me with a holy embrace. You are holy, pure, steadfast; you make a way out of no way. You are El Shaddai, El Elyon, Adonai, Jehovah Sabbaoth. You are the victor, the mighty warrior, you are mighty to save, nothing is impossible with you. You are worthy, holy, beautiful, glorious, magnificent, radiant, and in you there is no darkness. You hold the world and each heart in your hand. You lift me up and carry me in your righteous right hand. Nothing can separate me from your love. You are Lord of all. You are the prince of peace. You make me lie down in green pastures, your banner over me is love. You make me lie down and sleep in peace for you alone Lord keep me safe. You are my safe haven, my strong tower, the lifter of my head. You are worthy of all praise. You are Christ in me the hope of glory. Holy holy holy are you Lord God Almighty. You sing over me with love. Hallelujah. Praise you Lord Jesus.